The Official Blog of author, filmmaker & storyteller Peter van der Walt

The Official Blog of author, filmmaker & storyteller Peter van der Walt

Welcome to Extremely Foreword – the official blog of storyteller, author and filmmaker Peter van der Walt. Enjoy fresh posts every Monday to Friday. Memes of Consciousness bring some of the funniest, wisest or most thought-provoking quotes to the fore, while SnapShots combine casual photography and pithy observation. The monthly Extremely Foreword column is a cynical rant I really should be ashamed of (generally being such a positive chap) and – fearless as Quixote – we’ll go wherever our fancy strikes us in essays or articles filed under the category of Nomenclaturia Pedestria – which, frankly, was the most pretentious title I could think of. There’s some quality hand me downs and sensational sloppy seconds in FineFinds reviews for you to feast on. Short Stories, Flash Fiction and Poetry are proudly pranced around as and when they become available to the general public – as well as all the latest movies, series and videos from the Peter van der Walt YouTube Channel. The Visiting Post features my stuff on other sites or blogs, or brings other people’s stuff to this blog. Finally, Updates bring you all the press office releases, major moves, minor altercations and snippets of import – as well as any housekeeping. In short, Extremely Foreword is the most comprehensive and up to date collection of everything me – only members of The Lounge Club enjoy more, and more direct access. Everybody else, this is as good as it’s going to get, I’m afraid. At least we can all comfort ourselves with the knowledge that this too shall pass. Potentially like a kidney stone, but still. Anyway, if you’re still reading this scrolling text, I’m impressed. Keep checking in, and THANK YOU for watching and reading.

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Extremely Foreword: I Got Nothing

I come out here once a month and I whine…

It’s good for the soul, a good moan is. That’s at least part of the reason I do it – but the overarching reason is because, of course, I’m trying to be funny. Entertaining. Be all grumpy guy actually makes the point that life is hilarious and maybe our problems are not that big.

Sometimes, serious whining slips in. For that I apologise. No one gives a chocolate log crap about anything that seriously upsets me – and they shouldn’t have to. The goal of this column is to entertain people – the last thing I want is to become one of those big publication opinion swingers that think my virtue signalling is being believed and that my platform exists to rub my own ego until it’s warm and engorged.

But given the treats I’ve been subjected to in the past month, I have to tell you, it’s going to be hard to be funny.

Israel is attacked and the progressive movement revealed itself to be what it is… not the talk, the incessant, continual, patronising, oversimplified talk… or the posturing… the petulant, self-important, smug, self-righteous, self-indulgent, self-aggrandising posturing… but actual revelation, a peak beneath the hood at the reality of things. And dear God I looked for humour there, or something to smile about, but I just found none.

I looked at the academic institutions, that suddenly discovered a respect for free speech from some mysterious source, and found nothing to laugh about. I looked at the coverage of ”news” sources like CNN, MSNBC, Sky, BBC, the Washington Post and the New York Friggin Times – and I couldn’t help but crack a smile, but it was hardly a pleasant one, and wholesome humour was only slightly easier to find than modern media’s Loch Ness Monster: actual truth. I’m a little bit disgusted, to be honest. Like I need to have a shower once one of these oily slick apologists spun their bullshit moral equivalence. Oh you think I’m one sided? Yeah… anyone who is historically informed, rational and morally sound would be. That’s my point exactly.

I see the role of UNRWA, WHO, the Red Cross, Amnesty International and other snakes posturing as good guys… and I am reminded that there is no way for the average person to try to get rid of the UN. (BTW, if you have given money to these in the past, you, personally, have funded terror. Congratulations. I know, I know, your motives were so good). Try it yourself… there is no channel to cancel it. And their employees have diplomatic immunity. Which is why they behave like the amplifier of the OIC.

I want to entertain, not rant. I don’t want to be this guy.

So this month, as a jest, I’m afraid I got nothing.

The world is too shite to be grumpy about it. If you want to cope you’ll need some optimism. Me trying to be funny by being all curmudgeon will cause depression, rather than alleviate it. And there are newspapers and TV networks already selling you plenty of that.

Trending:

Visiting Post: The Aesthetics of Power

Power looks good, doesn’t it? Those who wear it well look great in it. You see it at Davos, where the people parade as if their forum was a catwalk. Those in the know can detect who is wearing who – you do not need to see the label to know, darling. They look good...

Honour Guard

We salute - our movements clipped and precise - assembled here with military precision - for the guests. Those very important parents, children and elderly folk, who will come to break their fast here. We stand ready to be of service to the nation. Proud in our...

Private Headlines

On a day of rage-inducing, unacceptable, mind-boggling, insane, fear-filled, ominous, dark, painful, shameful and crazy headlines - this was my view. Got me thinking that perhaps making personal headlines are more important than reading whatever activist journalists...

A World Away Just Around The Bend

Take the ferry out to Mount Edgecumbe and you can leave the city on foot. It's steep in places and a bit of a stretch but you could reach this village by foot. Along the way you will be treated by soothing sights and wistful vistas, and your psyche will be dry-cleaned...

Resurgam

Do not presume me dead because I sleep - It has happened before, on both these and distant shores Nor assume there are covenants I shall not keep - Merely because I have arrived at a point of gentleness. In your well-planned show of force in streets that welcomed you...

Seasonal Poster

And there it was, a giant poster for the change of season - by the world's original, oldest and most brilliant artist, with no copywriting required - a simple design using colours alone to hint at what is happening around. We go from long days and social nights and...

Extremely Foreword: The Column

Extremely Foreword – The Column is Peter van der Walt’s monthly payload of meltdowns, malign musings and curmudgeon commentary. A thinly veiled passive-aggressive innuendo aimed at some unnamed transgressor that’s been annoying him mightily over the last month (probably you, yes, you personally) – the column considers family, relationships, life, love, kindness, friendship and empathy and asks: is all the pain and suffering really worth it? No turn is left unstoned as Pete purple pills the hell out of the red and blue jellybeans of public discourse – and delivers his bitter judgement on life. It’s not that he’s angry with anyone. He’s just really disappointed.

Extremely Foreword: This Halloween – Leave Me Alone

Extremely Foreword: This Halloween – Leave Me Alone

It’s that time of the year again. With pumpkins everywhere, some of them on spice, walking right up to your door to extort candy. They dressed up – dutifully avoiding offensive costumes – most of them with little creativity or effort, and they ring your bell or knock on your door and you are expected to give them sugary treats or you are the...

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Extremely Foreword: Always On Syndrome

Here's a scenario. World War 3 breaks out. You'd want to know. But will it help if you do, is there any advantage if you find out first, or before someone else? I'm not talking about if you are the SecDef or the President or the PM or something. Just another guy or...

Extremely Foreword: Running Dry

Friday night. Mom, new husband, kids (from all 3 previous marriages) and dogs are all gathered together in the warmth of the trailer – and the TV is on. Into their psyches flow the wholesome narratives of a variety of TV shows and the late-night movie. All this...

Extremely Foreword: Losing The Plot

Horror plot idea: An evil, deformed, homicidal creature – but basically decent and minding his own business – lives on his own without disturbing anyone… until a group of teenagers arrive to upset his peace. They subject the poor creature to a litany of cliches and...

Extremely Foreword: Satire As Prophecy

Oh satire! Explains Oxford - once upon a time an authority on English - ''the use of humour, irony, exaggeration or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.'' Think...

SnapShots

Seasonal Poster

Seasonal Poster

And there it was, a giant poster for the change of season - by the world's original, oldest and most brilliant artist, with no copywriting required - a simple design using colours alone to hint at what is happening around. We go from long days and social nights and...

Rations of Sun and Shade

Rations of Sun and Shade

I happened to catch this the other day... no trick post or editing... just a natural display. The whole scene of reality expressed in varieties of grey. Quite a variety, taking three, maybe four main horizontal layers. And then take the top layer on its own - there...

Reading Boy

Reading Boy

God probably forgives gentle envy. I did not grow up anywhere near the sea, and so I feel a little, gentle envy that here a young person can go down to the ocean any time they want. I feel a strange, grateful, gentle kind of envy when I see the boy - free and...

Fortress On Green

Fortress On Green

The world is the way it is - not the way it should be. Begin there. Goodwill and tolerance are not universal virtues. Freedom, beauty, peace - these are not inevitable. Do not let it slip away or worse - give it up. For the integrity of the terrain you love, for the...

Just Looks A Little Different…

Just Looks A Little Different…

A different kind of river flows between islands of stone... With rustling noises the first clue that there is a lot alive. With birds around, and squirrels. Marching ants and buzzing insects and all kinds of activity around. It's smaller, more discreet. Less bombastic...

The Boulevard

The Boulevard

The technical term for this quick pic is "Very London." It is, of course, nearly impossible to tie Very London down, given that there are so many different faces to the place. My London is invariably Southwark and my friend's Kensington - and those two places are as...

Cyberpunk

Cyberpunk

A glimpse, through stone and steel, to a world that used to be, or that might yet be. The functional: domineering, and yet added as an afterthought. The buildings around were beautiful once... not masterpieces in themselves necessarily but built with care, and to...

Nomenclaturia Pedestria

I have a little ADHD and a little OCD, which means I always change my mind about what I’m completely obsessed about. Consider these the stable, enduring, bedrocks of my TikTok generation attention span – my articles of phase, if you will. A regular long form feature in which I write about random topics that really require years of in depth analysis but was just particularly appealing to me between tea breaks on that particular day.

From odes to code to the odd homage to fromage… what can I say? A mind is for changing.

Mind The Gap

Mind The Gap

When some folks hear I make films, they assume I’d do anything to be given a shot in Hollywood. The truth is I am not interested in Hollywood – at all. I am interested in telling good stories, and I would of course like the stories to be seen as widely as possible. I care about audiences and I live for giving them joyrides – nothing pleases me...

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Save Our Scares

Most snobs have fancy backgrounds and a lot of classical training to arrive at their elitist viewpoints. Not me. I earned my snobbery the old fashioned way - yessir. Grew up poor, walked barefoot, butt-naked in the snow, uphill both ways, to the VHS store and...

The Privilege Of Receipt

Books aren’t written in open plan offices. Nothing is more destructive to the process of book writing than the yapping of other people. That’s just the truth. You can be a nice writer; a family man writer; a friendly writer; a kind, caring, humane and humanist writer;...

Nomenclaturia Pedestria

I have a little ADHD and a little OCD, which means I always change my mind about what I'm completely obsessed about. Consider these the stable, enduring, bedrocks of my TikTok generation attention span - my articles of phase, if you will. A regular long form feature...

Short Stories

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FineFinds

A collection of tantalising tales, fabulous finds and riveting reads, these are more recommendations than reviews. I skip everything I don’t like and pass on only the best of the best to you. Don’t expect high literary criticism, however, I’m providing context to nice people, rather than pontificating critiques. Critics are eunuchs in a harem, it has been said – and I’m hardly qualified to be one of those. 

Abundant Heart

Abundant Heart

If you have a young person in your life - a nephew, a son, a daughter, a mentee - and you want to give them a few books that will really help them along in their lives, close to the top of that reading list should be a book by a Jewish Rabbi, whether you are Jewish or not. "Life is business, and business is life. Learn one, and you will have also...

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An Instructive Approach To More Powerful Prose

Writers are by their very natures intensely curious about their craft. They write, and they read, and they want to know how to get better. They read up about the components of storytelling – and may at times focus on things like plot, or character, or dialogue, or...

Time & Money

It’s hard to write a book. And yet, perusing the shelves and having a look at the books making waves and wreaking havoc in people’s psyches, it is perhaps still a little too easy. Any ole person can take any ole angle, slap it across a few pages, season it with some...

Video

Freshly served and directly from the Peter van der Walt YouTube Channel, here you will find all the latest productions from Privateer Media. We’ve got trailers, we’ve got behind the scenes, we’ve got short films and webseries and shorts. Occasionally, we might even have weird experimental stuff – photo galleries set to music and such things – what I’d call my French Stuff. 

The Story of Stories – Episode 1

The Story of Stories – Episode 1

Episode 1 of a casual web documentary exploring the history and development of English storytelling. Episode 1 looks at Anglo-Saxon and Middle English stories, and ends with Chaucer, Shakespeare and the Renaissance. Watch now for free - on the Peter van der Walt YouTube Channel. If you enjoy it, please also feel free to 'like' and 'subscribe'- it...

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In Plain Sight: The Making Of Invisibles

Spoiler Alert! A look behind the scenes of the short horror film Invisibles (2023), narrated by writer/director Peter van der Walt. Alerta de spoiler. Una mirada entre bastidores del cortometraje de terror Invisibles (2023), narrado por el guionista/director Peter van...

Trailer: INVISIBLES

Ladies and gentlemen... just parking the trailer here... https://youtu.be/u09zv_RZuao Trailer for the short film "Invisibles" from Writer/Director Peter van der Walt. Starring: Steven Perrin, River Owsley-Brown, Ruben Wheeler, Finlay Callaghan, Marley Winter, Finn...

Trash

It’s all around us – and yet we’ve trained ourselves not to notice it. A world within a world, it is a gritty sub-reality that exists wherever we do. Some build their careers on it, make businesses around it. Others pretend they oppose it or play politics with it. But...

Cosmopolitan Contrasts: A Portrait Of Manchester

Some casual footage and pics from Manchester - revealing a city rich in contrasts, quirks, interesting people, design treasures, history and art. Taken December 2022. On formal shoots, there is always a plan. The best way to explore a new city, however, is to go in...

Flash Fiction & Poetry

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Visiting Post

Assorted assortments & miscellany: links to external articles and guest bloggers. This regular long form feature either brings guest writers to the Extremely Foreword Platform, or takes Extremely Foreword writers to other platforms. The Visiting Post allows for some cross fertilisation and a variety of voices.

Extremely Foreword has some visits planned already. We’ll call you🙂

The New Champions Of Old Standards

The dumbest addiction of the current age must surely be being a news junkie. Say what you want about meth or crack - its bad for you and destroys individuals, families and society - but at least drugs work as advertised. Whether your poison of choice is Flakka or...

Visiting Post: 10 Evergreen Paperbacks

A little writeup about 10 of the best... and finding these lying around always makes my day. Today's Visiting Post takes us to a different platform: FirstRand's Perspectives website. Perspectives brings readers unique and interesting content not found anywhere else....

The Visiting Post

Assorted assortments & miscellany: links to external articles and guest bloggers. This regular long form feature either brings guest writers to the Extremely Foreword Platform, or takes Extremely Foreword writers to other platforms. The Visiting Post allows for...

Updates

August 2023 TLC Newsletter

Time sure flies when you're having fun. Seems like just the other day I was getting my nappies changed by mah - now it's another newsletter. This Friday brings existing members of The Lounge Club another one of their monthly emails. This one gives them advance view, a...

Writers, Voices, Actors and Artists

Aloha peeps, We can't do it all ourselves and need help, so this is a casting call without a couch - and an honest and transparent outreach to talented individuals interested in getting involved. If you are interested, drop us a mail at blog@extremelyforeword.com....

July 2023 Newsletter

For TLC subscribers, this Friday: the Cornwall Film Festival, Colombia, Mexico; MET webseries Trailer and some artwork; a sneak peak at SOS webseries, Pete's letter and more. See you in your inbox 🙂