For Sale – Private Island
22 Feb 2024

Unique fixer upper opportunity! POTENTIAL! Centrally located (in the middle of a lake), this two platform, one chair charmer is in need of some TLC (which is like saying a corpse could use a little healing). With actual grass growing through the wood of the main room (which boasts a fantastically rigid flagpole), and the wooden slats of the porch bobbing up and down like piano keys – the only limit to this unique property is your imagination (subject to council approval).

While on the subject of council approval, understand that these grey, civil servant types are stuck in loveless marriages and dead-end jobs and actually get off on saying no, to get a surge of power while they slow walk implementing things voters wanted but that doesn’t agree with their closet commie sensibilities).

The ultimate lock up and go (and keep going) unit, this might well be an entertainers dream (if said entertainer has a history of panic attacks while they sleep).

Sure. It’s a terrible private island. And yet there’s something completely intriguing about it… I bet its seen a thing or two.