Extremely Foreword: I Got Nothing
30 Nov 2023

I come out here once a month and I whine…

It’s good for the soul, a good moan is. That’s at least part of the reason I do it – but the overarching reason is because, of course, I’m trying to be funny. Entertaining. Be all grumpy guy actually makes the point that life is hilarious and maybe our problems are not that big.

Sometimes, serious whining slips in. For that I apologise. No one gives a chocolate log crap about anything that seriously upsets me – and they shouldn’t have to. The goal of this column is to entertain people – the last thing I want is to become one of those big publication opinion swingers that think my virtue signalling is being believed and that my platform exists to rub my own ego until it’s warm and engorged.

But given the treats I’ve been subjected to in the past month, I have to tell you, it’s going to be hard to be funny.

Israel is attacked and the progressive movement revealed itself to be what it is… not the talk, the incessant, continual, patronising, oversimplified talk… or the posturing… the petulant, self-important, smug, self-righteous, self-indulgent, self-aggrandising posturing… but actual revelation, a peak beneath the hood at the reality of things. And dear God I looked for humour there, or something to smile about, but I just found none.

I looked at the academic institutions, that suddenly discovered a respect for free speech from some mysterious source, and found nothing to laugh about. I looked at the coverage of ”news” sources like CNN, MSNBC, Sky, BBC, the Washington Post and the New York Friggin Times – and I couldn’t help but crack a smile, but it was hardly a pleasant one, and wholesome humour was only slightly easier to find than modern media’s Loch Ness Monster: actual truth. I’m a little bit disgusted, to be honest. Like I need to have a shower once one of these oily slick apologists spun their bullshit moral equivalence. Oh you think I’m one sided? Yeah… anyone who is historically informed, rational and morally sound would be. That’s my point exactly.

I see the role of UNRWA, WHO, the Red Cross, Amnesty International and other snakes posturing as good guys… and I am reminded that there is no way for the average person to try to get rid of the UN. (BTW, if you have given money to these in the past, you, personally, have funded terror. Congratulations. I know, I know, your motives were so good). Try it yourself… there is no channel to cancel it. And their employees have diplomatic immunity. Which is why they behave like the amplifier of the OIC.

I want to entertain, not rant. I don’t want to be this guy.

So this month, as a jest, I’m afraid I got nothing.

The world is too shite to be grumpy about it. If you want to cope you’ll need some optimism. Me trying to be funny by being all curmudgeon will cause depression, rather than alleviate it. And there are newspapers and TV networks already selling you plenty of that.